Condemned

I am a second career pastor. I spent about 20 years in the construction equipment rental business. Like many other businesses, there was a lot of competition, some between rival companies, and some within the ranks of the employees. The rental business, like other, was about being the best. We wanted to have the best reputation, the best equipment, best service, and so on. We would go to great lengths to get to the top of the list.

This carried over into the staffing as well. And this made for opportunities to be, frankly, unchristian. I wish I could say that I always did what I was supposed to, that I always followed the guidance of Jesus, but I can’t. I guess you could say that I had a bit of an inferiority complex, as I would always think that others were better at things than I was. I was worried that someone would come in, do things better than I, warm up to the boss, and slowly work me out of a job. I was threatened by others who would be working right under me.

My actions were not always in line with what I believed as a Christian. Between undermining others and trying to make myself look better to the boss, I disregarded some of the basic teachings of Jesus. I would also work myself to the limit. I put in long days and nights. I wouldn’t ask anyone to help because I wanted to be the one who got the credit. All this was taking its toll on me and my family. No vacations, missing from home activities were just a couple of the results. I know now that all of this was done because of fear. I was afraid of losing my authority. I was afraid of losing my position, my job. I was afraid of losing my identity.

But there was more; in doing this, I denied the life given to me in Jesus Christ. My identity was wrapped up in who I was as an employee, as a rental equipment manager, and by how everyone else saw me. I denied my identity as a child of God. With the exception of a couple of ‘Christian events’ in my life, you might not know that I followed Christ. I was denying my relationship with Jesus by what I was doing and not doing, by what I was saying and not saying.

Fear leads us to do some pretty strange things. These could be actions or inactions, speaking up or staying silent.

During the last 24 hours of Jesus’ life, he encountered some pretty awful people. After he was arrested, Jesus was brought before the Sanhedrin, the ruling elders. These people wanted to get rid of Jesus for good. They wanted him dead, out of the picture. But why? Fear. These leaders were afraid and threatened by Jesus, his power, authority, and his following. They saw this as a threat to their lifestyle, to their position. So, even if it meant circumventing some of their own rules, they were going to have him put to death.

During the so-called trial with the Sanhedrin, Peter was facing his own fear. He was afraid of what the people would do to him, and this resulted in denying that he even knew Jesus at all. Then a rooster crowed for the second time. If this can happen to Peter, then it can happen to us.

So many times, I have been a Pharisee and at other times, I have been like Peter. I think we all have at some point in our lives. But that doesn’t have to define who we are. We are all children of the Heavenly Father, the Almighty God, and we are not left in those places of fear. God offers us grace and his grace is available to all. I don’t care what you’ve done, what you’ve said, what you’ve left unsaid, or what you’ve left undone; there’s always grace for you. I have said this before, and I will keep saying it; no one is beyond the loving grace of God. You may think you are too far out there, but you’re not.

You may feel like a Pharisee. You may feel like Peter. But thankfully God covers us all with his saving grace through the blood of Jesus Christ. He does it through this free, unmerited gift of grace and it is in this grace that we have new life in Christ.